Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Can I tell you something?

      As I sit here at a lovely cafe in Downtown Fullerton, I wonder what has stopped me from blogging for so long. In the blog world a month or so is long enough for you to think I may have fallen off the face of the planet. But I assure you that I have been away for reasons that are more awesome than I could have imagined. In the last month I have gone through a change of lifestyle. For a while I wasn't sure what I was doing with myself, doing things that we're out of character, constantly mad angry and upset at my situation. Now, I would be lying if I said it didn't happen over night, because it did. My life changed over the course of mere hours. Let me tell you something...

     When you know what you want, you will be given what you desire to make you happy in life. 

    One night I laid in bed alone feeling like another day had gone by with me not knowing what my purpose was or how to really feel truly happy anymore. The days of summer were filled with more sadness than happiness. I cover up most of my feelings by being a joker of sorts, but I knew deep down that something needed to change. I turned on my netflix and scrolled through the recommendations, and as usual I couldn't make up my mind and was about to give up. I stumbled upon a documentary called "The Secret". I figured what the heck, why not, I have nothing to lose. 

    At first this so-called documentary looked a bit cheesy, and how could anyone really watch the whole thing without thinking this is a load of shit. It was late, I closed my eyes and tried to fight the urge to fall asleep. The next day couldn't come any sooner. When I awoke that next morning it was different than it had been in a while. I thought to myself I want a coffee, so I went and I got a coffee for myself, and for the girl in from of me who forgot her wallet. I was instantly in a really good mood. This works for me, is what I told myself. All day I felt a little spring in my step. Even at work some dude said "Wow you must really like working here!" and I replied "Im just having a really good day"...he then said "Must have been something that someone did to make you this happy" and my final answer was "Yeah, ME!". 

     The feelings I felt didn't go away, its as if they got more and more intense with each waking day since I watched that documentary "The Secret". I thought about things in a different way, my outlook on life was not about being scared or afraid, but about if it makes you happy go for it, and what is it you want out of life? I put out into the world my thoughts on positiveness and how it can change your way of being, and that any negative things of the moment could be blamed on Mercury In Retrograde! That is a whole other thing in itself. The point is that no matter what the bad things can and will happen, but if you focus on those alone, you will live a life full of hate, fear, sadness, get the point, right?

   I told myself I wanted to ban all evil, sadness, failure, any things from my past ways of thinking and banish them. These are the things that have held me back in so many ways. The what if's the Im not good enough, the I dont have the money. This being said I pushed myself to think of what I wanted in life and where I wanted my path to be leading me to. I decided to start working on myself, so I thought the 1st thing I really want to do is find a new job. One that I feel appreciated at, that I feel creative, understood, opinionated etc. So I put it out into the universe that I wanted these things. That same week things worked in my favor. It was quite scary actually how fast things began to shift. 

    In an instant I was offered a position at one of my favorite shops in Fullerton. And on top of that I was referred to the Los Angeles regional recruiter for Anthropologie! Can you believe it? I sure couldn't. I called my mom and told her about both incidents and how strange it was that life came together like the secret said it would. I gave myself one week to decide what to do. I knew that I had to focus really hard on what it was that I wanted in order for it to be apparent what decision would be the right one for me. 

   I attended a creative meeting at the shop in Fullerton to work on a window display and talked more with them about the position being offered. Later that night I went home super pumped and knew the decision was almost ready to be made. When all of a sudden fear came back into play. The what ifs...the I don't knows...I began to cry. This was the decision that was so hard because I had so much weighing on it. Within minutes the house began to shake. There was an earthquake. Instantly I went into panic mode. What does it mean? What does this all mean? I had gone from happy, sad to scared in a matter of minutes. 

    The earthquake in my eyes was the worlds way of shaking me out of my comfort zone, and to make a choice of what to do next and soon. Life doesn't wait for you, it will move on without you if you decide to take your time making decisions. It had begun the process of purging the past and making room for a new bright future ahead! I started by selling my stock, and then writing a letter of resignation, and then a vacation that I had planned on taking before hand. Before I knew it I had one week left of work before I started my new position. Things happened so fast, I look back now and wish I could only have done this sooner. But life doesn't always give you second chances. So I'm glad that I made my decision when I did. I decided to have a happy life, a happy outlook, a new place of work where I feel creative, and part of a great team of ladies that are so inspiring to work with! 

    So for all of you wondering for the past few weeks what has gotten into me...well that was it. I just had to harness what it is I wanted. I totally believe in "The Secret" I'm living proof that you can attract the things you want to have a happy life :) 

Have any of you read "The Secret" or seen the documentary?

What are your thoughts on it? 

1 comment:

apa essay format said...

You look awesome in the shady pics....I like the dress you wear in the photos..It is so elegant and sophisticated really...and the details are very interesting.